There is no manual for parenting.

There is a continual learning curve through the journey of parenting. Give yourself grace. 

On a regular basis, I hear parents verbalize their worry. 

They worry for their teen’s happiness. 

They worry about whether they are making the right decisions to best support their teen; did they hire the best test tutor? Math tutor?  Is their teen using their time outside of the classroom toward ‘what colleges are looking for’? (Which is not the question to ask yourself)

I get it. There is no manual for parenting. I have three young adults who I think about all the time and wonder if I continue to make the right decisions in how I support them. 

There is a continual learning curve through the journey of parenting. Give yourself grace. 

Think back to when your teen was a toddler. They started to stand up, after crawling for months on end. All of a sudden they took a step or two and bam, they fell to the ground. Human instinct is to get right back up and try again, until you master the skill.

Teenage years are the same, yet different. My experience of working and teaching on college campuses gives me invaluable insight as to what skills your teen needs in order to be successful in college and into their young adult life. 

I teach a college first year seminar. I see where the students struggle, succeed and what skills are needed. 

Here’s what you can do:

  1. Internal Loci of Control: Help them look inside. Map out the college admissions journey and set boundaries on how much you discuss it and when. If you talk to them about it all the time, their anxiety will be terrible. Filter, set a frame from which you both can work in and go from there. 

  2. Skip the admit rates and rankings. Admit rates are skewed and rankings are a fabricated set of qualifications. A great school is where students go and are supported- they get to know their professors- they get help land an internship- and they can easily find resources during a crisis. That’s a successful college. 

  3.  Filter Social media and influencer information: ‘Don’t believe the hype!’ Influencers are making a living off of being content creators and trying to ‘sound an alarm’ in you to keep watching which only causes you to be anxious. FILTER.

  4. Expectations: Refrain from placing your expectations on your teen. This is their life and you are here to support them. Manage your expectations.

  5. When students feel a part of their college community, they thrive. 

  6. So, by setting a frame, boundaries and expectations- this will help you all enjoy your time in high school and work toward finding the right college for your student.